OH, THE STUPID BURNS BRIGHT

as the stock market continues to decline for a third day, after someone with no experience in medicine and disease control and we were told everything is going well and will continue to do so if we only wash our hands, it was inevitable that another 'jenius' would step up to claim he has the answer.

rick wiles, conservative christian broadcaster and avid supporter of the current occupant of the white house, has stepped up to nip the covid crisis in the bud.  while he has previously claimed the coronavirus was 'a plague' sent by god to purge the world of sin, he's now apparently come up with a plan that will stop the disease completely once and for all.  on his february 25th episode of trunews, the man who holds white house press credentials mind you because he's such a journalist ya'know, claimed that if general secretary of the chinese communist party, xi jinping, would simply repent and accept jesus as his saviour.  he should 'tell the Chinese people you are sorry, you made a mistake, you repent, and ask them to put up in their homes a painting of Jesus Christ.  Watch what happens if you do it!  The plague will stop!" he goes on to say, "...lead China to the cross.  Do it, Mr. Xi.  Do it for your people.  Don't be a fool! (NOTE:  is it ever a good idea to call the leader of a large country with nuclear capabilities 'a fool', even if you're doing it in the name of jesus?)  Lead China to Jesus.  Lead them to salvation.  The plague will stop."  he continued by saying america was god's next target because of their "...hatred of God, hatred of the Bible, hatred of righteousness.", and the 'fact' that there were "Just vile, disgusting people in the country now, transgendering little children (NOTE:  huh?), perverting them.  Look at the rapes, the sexual immorality, the filth on our TVs and our movies."

see, it's just that easy.  of course, i can't help but wonder if he's going to be selling those pictures of jesus on-line, $29.99, shipping and handling not included, because none of these guys really do anything out of the goodness of their hearts.  saving souls is expensive, after all.  bakker has his potato slop, why shouldn't wiles peddle those pictures of a blonde jesus every good american christian grandmother had hanging in their home in the 50s.  of course, with uber-christian pence in charge, do we think it'll be long before he brings wiles on board as 'expert adviser' in order to help him wrangle this viral outbreak to it's knees (in prayer you see) while helping to fund the wall (what, you thought it would go to help something meaningful?) by making those pictures of jesus available at churches and trump gift shops across the country.

so, take comfort.  everything is under control with czar pence in charge and he has people like wiles to back him up.  just don't forget to wash your hands.

UPDATE:  uncle mike has added presidential economic adviser larry kudlow to his team to help combat the covid-19 virus, the same kudlow who just days ago said we had the virus 'totally contained'; the same kudlow who's been mocked for being seemingly drunk during some of his interviews; the larry kudlow who's also been roundly slapped around for his decades of failed economic predictions, yet, for some reason the czar feels he has a hidden expertise that'll help in the fight.

still feeling comforted?  i'd like to remain optimistic but i can't help but think of the old adage 'with friends like these...' and get that sinking sensation in my gut that says we're screwed.  and that's not comforting.