well, we are in the middle of awards season, so i have decided to hand out a few of my own.  unlike the oscars or people's choice, there is no generalized name for theses awards..well, not yet.  each award is a one-of-a-kind and may have more than one "honoree".  they may also include runners-up and "honorable" mentions.  and voting is not in the hands of a panel or distinguished group of peers.  everything is in the hands of just one person...me, so there will definitely be those who disagree with my selections but to those i say...tough.  unlike some, i fully believe in the freedom of speech.  and so i proudly present (drumroll, please)                THE GOLDEN STOPSIGN.   this award goes to all those who vowed to make barack obama a one-term president and stood in the way of everything he tried to accomplish.  compromise became strictly forbidden and the good of the people was surpassed by the will of the party and the desires of the lobbies.                   THE GOLDEN PUCKER.   this award goes to all members of congress whose lips are firmly planted on the asses of the masters of big money, seeming more content on receiving passing grades and financial endorsements, than fully representing their constituencies, even the ones who didn't vote for them.                 THE GOLDEN HANKY.   this one goes to the poor losers who, instead of accepting defeats graciously, sought, via prejudicial redistricting and the passage of severely restrictive voter-i.d. requirements, to hope to control the results of these and future elections.                                                                                             i've been having trouble coming up with an appropriate name for the next award.  i considered the francis, after the lovable talking mule of cinema fame, but i'm afraid i might run afoul of copyright law. and, besides, if you're familiar with the movies, francis always ended up being the smart one.  but staying on that route, i  think i've come up with something suitable, so the next award is THE GOLDEN YAPPING JACKASS.  there were several in the running for this award, but some were found more suitable entrants in another category and, in the end, it appeared that THE DONALD would win by a wide margin.  however, going into the stretch, there he was...RUSH!!  although donald's history extensive history of speaking out of his is legendary, rush's mocking of the children who appeared with pres. obama during his address on gun regulation, vaulted him into contention.  add this onto his derogatory statements earlier in the year, i found i had to declare a tie in this category.  kudos, gentlemen..and i use the term loosely.  a recent entry just earned an honorable mention.  our local sheriff, dave clarke has recorded and will begin airing a public service announcement in which he urges all citizens to arm themselves because it's futile to call on the police in case of emergency, and you'd better rely on armed, self-defense.   p.s.a., my ass.  the only p.s.a. i'd be interested in hearing from him is his resignation.  i'm sorry, i editorialize.                                                                      i'd love to take a break for a word from our sponsor,  but i couldn't find one.  so, i continue....                       THE GOLDEN EARPLUGS.  once again, there were a couple of deserving parties,  but the hands-down  winner had to be the n.r.a. and its cadre of well-financed backers in congress, who refuse to listen to common sense, or anyone who doesn't embrace their policies.  fully believing that open discussion and compromise are just dirty words and steps in a vast conspiracy to totally disarm the country, they cover their ears and "lalalala" themselves into their own paranoid universe.  and "everyone knows" that sitting down to actually have a discussion would send the message that, in some way, your stance might be flawed and, god knows, you're never wrong...everyone else is.               and now, what goes better with golden earplugs than                                                                                                                                                 THE GOLDEN BLINDFOLD, and, once more, we have a tie.  first, we have the catholic church, not just for the past year, but for the many years they have invested in the protection of pedophile priests.  however, in the past year it has become more apparent that around the world it was more important to protect their image, rather than protect the children.  meanwhile, our co-winner shows that it's not just image that needs protection.  also on the block are the millions of dollars in donations and broadcast fees that are collected every year.  so, congratulations to cover-uppers at penn state for turning a blind eye toward the abused.  rah-rah-sis-boom-bah.                                                                                                                                  we had many in the running for our next award, exemplified especially by the two (thank goodness) ex-congressmen and their comments about women who "rape easy" and "legitimate rape".  and so..here is            THE GOLDEN DICK.  simply because they have this added appendage, they seem bent on returning to the good old days of "father knows best" when women were required to do nothing but keep the house, raise the kids and keep their opinions to themselves.  they wish to dick-tate (sorry, couldn't help it) what women should be allowed to say, how much they should be allowed to earn, where they should be allowed to serve and how much protection they deserve (note: the VAWA, violence against women act, despite past over-whelming support, has yet to be reauthorized by this congress.)  but, being men, surely they MUST know better.                                                                                                                                                             finally, we have THE GOLDEN HALO.  it's a good thing i don't have to actually hand out these awards, because there are just too many winners in this category.  i most certainly could narrow it down to just the westboro church for their harassment of soldiers funerals and vilification of other churches who are more accepting of our gay brothers and sisters (it seems they worship a wimpy, phony jesus who would never do as they do...love their fellow men.  i mean, what christian would do such a thing?)  but the westboro church is by no means alone.  for groups to claim to share a common book of reference, there is so much finger-pointing, claims of who worships the right way, whose god is better, what god REALLY said or meant, and who is the better christian and who is not christian enough.  is it any wonder that more people categorize themselves as spiritual and unaffiliated with any church?  who sets the holiness scale?  is it 1-10 or do they assign a letter grade?  anyway, to those out there wearing your "holier-than-thou" attitude with such pride, i have only this to say...so shall you be judged.                                                                                                  there is one more i came up with, kind of last minute, but i felt i had to salute one more group with THE GOLDEN WHO-GIVES-A-CRAP award.  this is a relatively small but distinguished assemblage and therefore i feel i must name them individually:  honey boo-boo...jersey shore...buckwild (a new show described as jersey-shore-goes-to- appalalachia )...any season of bachelor/bachelorette...the real housewives of wherever...mob wives (should i worry?)...the kardashians.  i know there are more but since i don't watch them, i have no idea what channel they're on to do any research.  and besides, the name of the award says it all....who gives a crap!!!  (note: feel this award deserves a description..it's a golden pile of crap!  what else!?)                                                                                                                                          so, there we have it.  i still don't know what i'll call them as a group, but i'll give it some thought.  if anyone has suggestions for nominees or additional categories, let me know.  i'll probable ignore you, but you never can tell.  hope you had as much fun as i've had.  and as someone i love says, "if you're not pissing anybody off, you're not trying hard enough!"