rants part one: mostly tickles

let's start with something that will truly be remembered as one of the pivotal advancements of modern man: a fork (and a spoon!) that vibrates to tell you when you're eating too fast.  OH MY GOD!!  how have we lived without this??  come on, really?!  there are growing numbers of so-called "smart" devices on the market or in development that i can see as truly interesting, though maybe not completely necessary: refrigerators that inventory the contents, maybe a stove that will time your cooking based on weight of item placed in oven.  but a vibrating eating utensil?  what's next?  a belt that vibrates when it senses abdominal expansions so you'll know when it's time to take a dump?  pretty soon we won't have to use our brains at all to tell us what to do.  and, believe me, there are enough people out there not using their brains right  now, we don't need technology to help us avoid using common sense.  unless, maybe, a device to tell someone WHEN to use common sense                                                                                                                                       and staying on the subject of things that will add to the enrichment of mankind, i previously expressed my opinion about the people out there who consider same-sex marriage the ultimate sign of the end of the world, but i would like to nominate what i consider a new front-runner.  in my posting on the roller coaster year we had, i went on about these so-called reality shows that glut the airwaves, making "stars" out of practically anyone, as long as they have a name, money or a big ass (and sometimes all three).  but now we have a new contender for dumbest-of-the-dumb, a show called DOUBLE DIVAS .  get it?  DOUBLE D-vas.  and someone got paid to come up with that name.  in the promos it is obvious that some of these women haven't seen a double-d since they were in a training bra, but  they say they are there  to help women find the proper fitting bra. but really?  it's soft fetish-porn for men (and maybe some women) who need a regular tit-fix.  note: concerning threats to the to the sanctity of marriage,  i forgot to mention the bachelor/bachelorette franchise.  these shows have about as much to do with love as does the mad dash to make a hookup when the lights come up at last call.                                                                                                                       speaking of love....horror of horrors!!  justin and selena are over!!  taylor and harry are kaput!!  WHO CARES!!!  other than a slew of 13 year old girls or over-zealous, desperate paparazzi eager for the money shot.  all over the place and being called "breaking news", these stories are receiving more attention than they rightly deserve.  we're talking about people barely out of their acne days, fooling around, having a good time, finding themselves, sowing their wild oats...whatever you want to call it,  despite the way it's being presented, none of it is tragic.  they'll all survive, get over it and in the process, make a butt-load of money.  my broken heart, however...how will i go on?  now, what's for supper?                                                                               one last thing before i post..it's only wednesday, and i've found so much to talk about.  some girlfriend of some college quarterback is singled out on t.v. and they're calling her a star.  just because she's pretty, has gained 4 million twitter followers and was gushed over by someone old enough to be her great-grandfather, does that make her a star?  NO!!  we haven't yet seen any naked pictures on line.  until then...NO STAR!!!