ted 'god's chosen' cruz was the first to jump into the #konservative klown kar, and you know it's going to be a bumpy ride when the craziest of the lot (at least, so far) decides he wants to drive. why do i get the feeling the only thing you'll hear on that radio is a never-ending loop of 'jesus take the wheel'? but if jesus is smart, he'll call a cab. the announcements thus far have all been quite different in nature. ted's was a combination of historical references indirectly comparing himself to past presidential greats and religious revival. rand paul kept it a little lower key with a decidedly smaller but no less enthusiastic crowd and it was much the same for the announcement of marco rubio's candidacy, though he touts himself as the vanguard of the politics of the future.
it's also coming as no surprise that when many conservatives have nothing substantive to offer they begin resorting to assaults of the personal nature. as the candidates themselves have put forward their criticisms, some rather indirectly (as rubio only referred to clinton as a 'candidate from the past'), it's the pundits and talking heads, those definitely on the fringe of any candidate's campaign, that are setting forth the most vicious personal and, in some cases, bizarre attacks on every little thing hillary does or says
bill kristol offers up not what one could consider an attack but a rebuttal to a clinton candidacy with a nod of acknowledgement to rubio's comment on the politics of the past. bill says that if the democrats can nominate hillary, than the republicans should feel free to nominate dick cheney as an example of an 'average everyman'. i do find this a perversely attractive and interesting idea. wouldn't you want to see a president with indictments or charges for war crimes held over his head? would definitely take u.s. foreign relations into a whole new realm.
andrea 'i hate women' tantaros of the more-than-logical clan at fox couldn't help but have negative things to say about clinton's lunch-stop at chipotles. while some decided to be critical of her sunglasses (like they were attempting to cover blood-shot eyes from that bender the night before) or her attempt to go unnoticed (i mean, how dare she not have a whole brass band and camera crew we could point at and mock!!), andrea decides to adopt a slightly sarcastic humorous tone by suggesting it was hillary's feeble stab at 'hispanic outreach'. maybe she should consider a stop at mcdonalds to extend a hand to our scottish-americans or olive garden for our italian-american cousins. maybe panda express for an asian-american shout-out and popeyes for.....well, you get it. my suggestions to andrea: your s.s.s. (sarcasm-snark-snide) needs work. don't try for intentional humor because just being your usual fox-stupid-self you get more and bigger laughs. and you're definitely much funnier when you're being serious.
conservative blogger don feder really goes for blood when he wrote that hillary should never be president because she's simply a 'frustrated middle-aged feminist' who's got that 'hideous factor' and we need a leader who doesn't look 'frazzled and frumpy' with a face that would scare us 'ala night of the living alinskyites'. mind you, he probably considers all that 'constructive criticism. and they say there are no gentlemen left.
one of the more obscure figures who felt they had to weigh in on subject is cheryl rios, a proud christian conservative who out-rightly states that not only hillary but no woman should every be the president of a company because of some 'old biblical sound reasoning'. what that 'sound reasoning' is she never says, of course i think she would be able to find some verse that might support her view. people like her always do. and she falls back on the old anti-feminist chestnut that it's because of their hormones, those nasty little things that make a woman all weepy and unpredictable especially when 'auntie flow and her mood swings' (great name for an all-female punk band, by the way) drops in for a jam session. cheryl also states that, should hillary get elected, she'd be moving to canada. please. haven't we heard that line before?? and they never follow through. just ask ol' 'poopy pants'.
this just in....sandy rios, of the american family association, well known for it's oh-so public support of marriage equality (being such accepting christians and all), had to bring attention to the inclusion of gay couples in hillary's first full-length campaign video, claiming it is obvious evidence that she is a lesbian. not that she intends to be a representative of all americans because that would just be so, you know, un-american to stand up for all the country's citizens. maybe she also included blacks and hispanics because she's also both black and hispanic. has she identified someone as jewish, that would mean she's also jewish (which would be objectionable to all the good, honest christians for whom this country was intended). and if any just happened to be muslim....oh, don't get them started on that one!
only a couple weeks in and they've moved beyond the digs at the pant-suits and the hair styles they haven't even touched on the e-mails or benghazi, let alone digging much farther back into whitewater or lewinsky. yes, there's baggage but who doesn't have some (well except maybe ted. he's just too perfect. ask his father). and you know all too well everything is going to be dug up at some time but hillary's a big girl and i'm sure she can handle herself. one thing that keeps me going is imagining her in a debate with some of these guys and the k.k.k.* isn't even half full. christie? carson? who's next? what other escapee from the asylum will want a ride? what will be the next inconsequential thing they'll find to nit-pick?IF YOU CAN" but i'd love to see some heads explode if she shows up someplace with purple hair and wearing a neon green bustiere and ass-less chaps. elizabeth hasselbeck would need her bible and a fainting couch.
and i'd need a refill on the popcorn.
*konservative klown kar
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