Since #TEDCRUZ has become the first to announce he's entering the race, it seems that it's time to resign ourselves to the fact that the season of the clown car has officially begun. already pretty much declaring he's going to become the very best president this country has ever produced during his well-organized performance before an audience that was required to attend (it was 'billed' as one of the school-authorized regularly scheduled 'convocations'). and quite a performance it apparently was. i will admit to seeing only brief clips since by watching the full event i'm sure i would have suffered severe and permanent brain damage, not to mention lasting mental trauma. it even included (or so i've heard, since, once again 'severe mental trauma' and possibly bowel problems) a rehearsal held for just exactly how to engage in the expected spousal kiss typically meant to show support more than affection, which is something i'm even surprised they allowed on the staunchly conservative christian campus, where such things are well-regulated and any 'touching of a sexual nature' is forbidden under their code of conduct. maybe if kissing doesn't involve tongue it's okay but just the thought of witnessing it makes me feel the need for a dose of pepto. aside from attendance at such school functions and the thrice-weekly worship services being mandatory, students are apparently fined $10 with 4 reprimands (possession of an r-rated movie-they don't mention x-rated-warrants $50 and 12 reprimands, and involvement in witchcraft or satanic activity demands $500 and 50 reprimands, not to mention possible expulsion) should they not show up.
One thing i can't help but wonder is why he had to go to such a bastion of freedom and tolerance when i would think it more appropriate to make such a momentous announcement in texas, the state he so proudly claims to represent, or at one of his prestigious alma maters. was he afraid he might not be able to find such an enthusiastic and supportive (i could mention that mandatory attendance thing again but i'll refrain) crowd, a crowd that is more than likely being constantly exposed to a doctrine of 'less government influence and control' while surrendering four years or more to an institution that exerts such strict demands-with-consequences over their everyday lives? oh, and where was daddy? i'd have thought he might be there to at least deliver an opening invocation. maybe he couldn't get a day pass from the home.
But daddy did get his mention in what i'm sure ted hoped would be an inspirational family resume which i found curiously lacking in a couple of details (i read the transcript, complete with all the insertions of where applause occurred and where certain audience members' comments were audible; that was torture enough)....how his parents met and why did they move from texas to canada in the first place. i guess just a few details had to be sacrificed to make room for all of his 'imagines' which also weren't prefaced with a request to his audience to 'close your eyes' before he started on his litany including washington, franklin roosevelt and st. ronnie. he probably felt if they closed their eyes, their snoring might drown him out. thinking that by invoking those famous names he might, by osmosis, somehow insert himself into their illustrious company and since there is no one around to challenge him by saying 'i knew......and you're no......', he felt secure in his assumption. another 'i wonder why...?': when listing off those presidents, it was curious, at least to me, that he decided for whatever reason to omit lincoln, the first 'republican' president. i mean it's not like lincoln sat back, did nothing and eventually faded into the fog of the past. and who really needs to acknowledge the 'FIRST REPUBLICAN'. but, like the reason for his parents trip from here to canada, somethings if not discussed might never need to be known.
So there we have it. the announcement and the circumstances of it's delivery and reception are public record, so for all essential purposes the race is officially 'on' and now open to critics and comics alike. there will be more to come, especially in regards to the expected crowd of potentials running on the conservative side, but none could be considered quite so entertaining in and of itself. most commentators have yet to weigh in with their critiques or opinions, although fox has already been criticized for not coming out on the cruz bandwagon, but you can't please everybody and it's only just begun. i'll admit it would have been nice had it started with a more attractive horse (one that didn't seem as divisive, sanctimonious and dumb as a brick, despite his 'training'), but beggars can't be choosers....or use whatever animal metaphor you feel suits the situation. there are so many more coming so as to accommodate all sports and animal metaphors so at this time, which ever you select, i'm sure they'd feel insulted to be compared to good old ted. i know i would.
Now, who's next?
BRING 'EM ON!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment